This actually might be one of the most important questions if you want to know more about your life and dive a bit deeper into self-exploration. Spoiler - I am not sure if there is an answer and maybe that is not even necessary because asking the question might be more important than answering it.
Everyone probably has a few quick answers that come immediately to mind when asking who you are. People connect their names, occupation, gender or nationality with their identity but is that really who you are? The obvious answers are not the ones that give you a deeper insight in this case. Finding out who you are starts with noticing who or what you are not. As children we start to develop a personality, when we hit puberty we throw everything overboard and try to find ourselves (again). As young adults we seem to have some things figured out about us but in our 40s or 50s we hit a midlife crisis because we realize that we are not who we thought we were. Does this process of developing and changing really ever end? Is there an end to getting to know ourselves? I highly doubt it and this is why it is more important to ask 'who am I' than to answer it.
In Yoga or Meditation practices we like to ask 'Am I this body?', 'Am I this mind?'. The point is to meditate on these questions and see what thoughts arise. The goal is not necessarily to receive answers but to feel what lies beyond and what your subconscious does with these questions. As a result of asking, you will see beyond layers of identification with a false self and everything that comes from outside.
The word person stems from the word 'persona' which means mask. We all wear different masks, play certain characters, depending on the situation we are in or who we are with. We are a different version of ourself when we are with our parents than we are with friends or colleagues for example. As we usually either mirror or reflect contrasts in people, we bring out different sides in each other. This is why we need relationships of any kind to develop personally but it is also why they can bare such a potential for conflict. On the one hand it is easy not to be triggered and feel at ease when we are just by ourselves. On the other hand though many people feel uncomfortable being alone as they don't get validation or a reaction from someone else which can also bring up the question 'who am I?' and as a result feelings of insecurity. Not having someone telling us who we are metaphorically speaking can be irritating. Who are you when you are alone? Who are you in a social situation? How do you behave? These questions are equally important. Maybe at some point you feel so comfortable with yourself - who or whatever that is - that it makes no difference anymore whether you are alone or in company.
Becoming who you are is more un-become who you are not. We spend a lot of time creating a personality and building a life around us that we also cover our true essence with many layers of false believes and identifications. We don't have to live an ascetic life on a mountain but if you truly want to get to know your self and be really comfortable in any situation, you have to let go of the roles you take on in everyday life and stop identifying with materialistic stuff including your job, education or family status etc. Whether alone or with someone else, you have to stop putting labels on yourself or let others put you in boxes. As much of a cliché this sentence is but life is a journey. There is no end to getting to know yourself as we constantly change. Our likes and dislikes change, our believes, ideas and points of view are fluid and will not always be the same. This is absolutely okay and actually beautiful as we flow and change while going through different seasons and cycles in our lives.
The reason why we often identify with a character or version of ourself is because it gives us a certain sense of security. Our mind creates this persona to hide our insecurities - which everyone has. It tells you to behave in a certain way depending on who you are with in order to not behave 'false' or embarrass yourself. In reality there is no wrong behaviour if you are just true to yourself. Be so comfortable with who you are that others feel comfortable around you as well. Don't pretend to be someone or something you are not or you don't even want to be. As long as you are putting yourself in a box, others will do the same to you and social interactions will become uncomfortable and unnatural. If you are acting around people, you won't attract the ones that love you unconditionally as they don't really get to know the authentic you.
Contemplating on who you think you are and how you want to be will give you insights on how and why you created the life for yourself that you did. Why do you have the relationships you have? Why are you doing the things you do? Or even why are you where you are? These questions can bring up uncomfortable feelings as discovering our nature can also make us dislike some versions of ourselves. If you don't like something about you ask where this feeling is coming from. Is it something that is justified? Is it unkind or superficial behaviour? Or is it just self-criticism that comes from a false belief pattern? If we are not self-reflecting we won't get to know us and we will keep playing roles in order to hide our insecurities.
You will get to know yourself better by getting out of your comfort zone. Try new things, travel and explore yourself and the world. Be fine with different versions of yourself and don't be afraid to change your mind or taste. When it comes to us human beings everything seems a bit complex. Un-become what you are not in order to become who you are. Don't play different roles only to fit in but also accept that there are different versions of you that will always change. Don't identify with any version or label of yourself but find your roots and be confident in what you believe makes you you.
In the beginning I said there is no answer to who you are or the answer will change through time. Find out how you want to be and what you want to spend your time with. What brings you joy? Which people do you want to be surrounded by? If you can be true to yourself without feeling guilty about it, if you can say no or yes to things you want or don't want then you are on the path of discovering who you are.
We need a world where people are genuine and honest, where nobody feels the need to pretend to be something they are not in order to fit in. We need to be so authentic and raw in our nature that what we really are has no other chance than to shine through. What we really are is pure energy that radiates nothing else than love. As humans we also present many possibilities for the opposite. Our human side is not only love and light. We live in a world of contrasts but that also means that we get to chose sides, we get to chose if we want to be kind and honest or if we simply want to fit in and survive in a society that doesn't like individuals who think outside the box. If you ask yourself who you are, accept everything that rises to the surface. Then you can decide what you want to keep and what you want to let go of.
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