For quite a while now I have been on a path of inner work, healing and trying to figure out how my mind works. Often I am doing that actively through energy healing, reading material and simply analysing myself and my mindset. I used to go to therapy, I journal and I have many insights through my meditation practice. Even through my work as well as simply talking to other people I tend to gain a lot of knowledge about myself. And as much as this longing for discovering and working on myself comes naturally to me, as much do I know that it can become just another distraction and a never-ending story that leads to frustration. So the question is how much work should we put into ourself and is it necessary at all in the bigger picture?
The phrases 'inner work' or 'healing journey' are quite often used these days and might come with a taste of spiritual boohoo, they might seem unpleasant and anyways who wants to do work after all?! Working on ourselves seems like a tough and sometimes very painful job, so why should we do that? My short answer is to live a more free and happy life. The longer answer includes raising our and our surrounding's frequency, not passing our traumas on to our children and simply creating a better world to live in. I think actively working on our healing will create a better place and a better life for ourselves and others. We are all connected, mentally, emotionally and physically as well - this is what it means being connected energetically. It is all energy and even though we cannot see it doesn't mean it is not a fact (actually proven by scientists). If you heal yourself you heal the world. If everyone would work on their traumas, their false beliefs and mindsets, if we would all be aware of how we affect others by projecting our issues on to someone else, imagine how the world would change. If politicians would go to therapy this world would look very different.
Now, in the bigger picture, looking at it from a very spiritual perspective, it is not necessary to do any work on yourself as everything that exists is absolutely perfect and meant to be the way it is right now. If you can see and feel this I'd say you are enlightened, until then I would recommend putting some work and effort in making ourselves and this world a better place to live in. Afterall we are living with ourselves 24/7, there is no way to escape our mind or body (well, sort of), so why not make yourself a peaceful happy place? And if you don't want to do it for yourself, do it for your children and their children and the people around you that you love and also the ones you don't love.
Like everything, our active healing journey needs a good balance too. As I mentioned, it can become frustrating and won't bring fruition if we run after our 'ideal' self in a self-healing marathon that won't allow us to enjoy this life and its humanly pleasures. The human and spiritual experience goes hand in hand. If you are so strict with yourself that you don't allow yourself that piece of chocolate or if you beat yourself up about a situation where you wanted to react from a higher place of consciousness but couldn't at the time it is not considered as working on yourself. Yes, we have to be disciplined at times but we also have to know when to let go. Maybe this is one of the hardest things to learn as humans, to find the balance and know when to do what. Especially if you just started therapy, try to get sober, heal traumas or started to live life through its spiritual path, it can be very tricky. From my experience I can tell you that it gets much easier after some time. The feeling of guilt fades away and at the same time being more disciplined becomes much easier. I guess it is a trial and error thing - and so is life.
Maybe you have been reading until now and still wonder what it even means to work on yourself. What is the healing journey and how do you improve yourself and see at the same time that you are already perfect as you are. There are so many different approaches when it comes to self-development and healing. I guess it really depends on what you want to work on and how challenging this journey might be for you. There is a difference between trying to recover from being a drug-addict or healing severe cases of abuse, wanting to find out why you cannot be alone and jump from one relationship to another and wanting to live a healthier life but cannot stop procrastinating. Psychotherapy can be very helpful for many people in any case and even here are many different approaches and styles that therapists work with. There is also counseling, which doesn't dig as deep into your psyche and might be a more active approach. When doing inner work I would always recommend a holistic path that grasps the connection of mind, body and soul. Often therapy can be very one-sided and misses the all-connectedness of our spiritual being, it can be quite rational and might keep you stuck in overthinking and analysing yourself. Energy Healing, obviously my favourite, is a very holistic way to gain self-knowledge and heal your wounds, but also with this form of therapy might be something missing. For example if someone needs to heal from severe trauma or psychosis for example I absolutely recommend getting help from a professional who is trained in this field. There is no 'one size fits all' when it comes to the healing journey, we all have to find the path that is right for us and that makes you feel better. It is important to give yourself the time to find the right treatment and person to work with if you chose to seek help.
Technically everything can give us insights about ourself. Every moment, every encounter or conversation reflects a part of us back to us. Everything is a mirror and if you dare to look at it you will make incredible discoveries about yourself. It is so liberating to have an epiphany about yourself and become able to break a habit or thought pattern that harmed you. Healing means freeing yourself from yourself, being able to observe what used to make you blind and keeping a healthy distance from a destructive thought, feeling or emotion. Healing doesn't mean to be happy and healthy all the time, it means to be able to deal with all that life has to offer with more ease. Being human means experiencing pain - doing the inner work means being able to deal with it without suffering, or at least with way less intensity. Doing the inner work means non-attachment from your outer circumstances and simultaneously being able to connect to everyone and everything around you in a more intense and beautiful way. It means not making others responsible for your pain but taking responsibility and the necessary action to change what you want to change. Healing means feeling so safe and at home within yourself that nothing on the outside can shatter you.
To be able to feel this we have to face our shadows and that will be painful and hard sometimes. Childhood trauma, false beliefs, the idea that we are not good enough, all that which makes us feel so insecure and cause us to act from a lower point of consciousness because we didn't know better at that moment can be transformed. We just repeat patterns passed on to us, usually by our parents who had it passed on by their parents and so on and on. That is why working on your wounds and traumas is so powerful, it doesn't only liberate you it also liberates the generations before and after you. When we deal with what keeps us small we will eventually see how powerful we are. To experience the change that comes from being able to let go of a limiting belief is an incredible feeling. If you have felt insecure about your body and were not able to go to the beach in a bikini or shorts imagine how it feels to suddenly be so confident in your own skin that this doesn't bother you anymore. Everyone with body-image issues knows how extremely imprisoning it feels to be ashamed of your own body.
We are all on our healing journey with every incarnation but in this life we can actively, or better consciously work on ourselves and create a more pleasant life, a life that feels free. Whatever way, path or treatment we chose it will make us grow. Gaining self-knowledge is never a waste of time, it expands our awareness and improves our lives. Don't forget to indulge a bit in human pleasures while working on yourself though. If we deal with painful stuff it can take up a lot of space, so make sure to give yourself a break as well and just try to enjoy life.
One of the most beautiful things that come with healing yourself is that one day you can feel that everything is and will be good. You will feel at peace and you will love yourself with all your so called flaws - and the days you are not at peace won't pull you down as much anymore. The occasional struggles will still be there but they will be limited and won't take up that huge space anymore. You will be able to enjoy life on a new level that you wouldn't have thought is possible and you will understand yourself and this human experience on a much deeper level. The people, things and experiences we attract when we let go of our wounded self are of different quality. The growth pain will be worth it and the moment you can laugh about something that used to ruin your day is priceless.
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