The big question on how to live a happy and fulfilled life is on everybody's mind at some point - but is there actually an answer? Is it something everyone has to figure out for themselves or is there a general answer that can be applied to us all? Well, there is an answer but we still have to figure it out for ourselves and that's the conundrum.
The short answer is you have to quiet your mind to truly be happy, and when I say happy I don't mean this fading feeling that is just vague and quickly over as soon as something unpleasant happens. I mean a feeling that is deeply anchored inside all of us, that feeling of bliss, joy, fulfilment. Temporary happiness comes and goes, it is dependent on our environment, our outer circumstances and therefore will never last. It is easily disturbed by our thoughts and actually also created by them. Happy thoughts create happy feelings and negative thoughts create unpleasant feelings - it is that simple and yet that hard to have an influence on this process.
The only way to gain control over your thoughts and therefore over your happiness or misery is through consciousness and by quieting the mind. The first step towards this is to become aware of what is going on in your head. It is important to get out of this cycle of unconscious overthinking in order to take back your power. We all know how much energy it costs to be seemingly stuck in our own head with our negative thoughts. Most of us have the tendency to expect the worst outcome when facing a problem, we never believe that something great might be the result. It is not easy to break out of this cycle as we usually use our mind more than our emotional intelligence or intuition. We train the mind from childhood on to take over - we constantly strengthen it every time we overthink and try to solve a problem by just thinking about it. This way we get the idea that we have control over a situation, which is simply an illusion. Yes, we can have great ideas and make plans but as long as we are not acting on them they are just a mental construct without any stability.
Meditation is the most powerful way to become more conscious, to calm your mind and minimize your thoughts. I would say that 90 percent of our thoughts are not very constructive or positive, or necessary at all. Through meditating we raise our awareness and become the observer of our thoughts instead of getting tangled up in them. As long as we are not conscious about what we think, feel, say or do, we don't have power over our own life. It feels as if we are victims of all these outer circumstances, we might think that something bad is constantly happening to us. If we are able to change this point of view and see it from a more proactive side we can create our reality to a greater extent.
Even after years of meditation it is still not easy for me to quiet my mind. It takes consistency and determination to unlearn what we grew up learning. Especially if someone has the tendency to overthink and often 'lives' in their head, it can take a while to calm the mind. But with a constant meditation practice there will be many differences noticeable and soon enough you will feel it's many benefits. We often hear that there is no goal when it comes to meditation. As much as this is true, I think we can use its advantages and set a goal if we want to work on ourselves. The true state of meditation can not be put into words. We can try to describe it as blissful nothingness where there is definitely no goal but as soon as we put it into words it is not that. It is something that can only be experienced.
Gaining happiness, peace and more awareness over ourselves and what is around us are just beautiful by-products of a regular meditation practice. Only by going inwards into this silent space inside us we can discover true happiness as we will realize it has always been there and cannot be destroyed by something that happens outside of us. Of course we can be sad, angry or in a bad mood but as soon as we notice this stillness inside we can observe these feelings and they won't ruin our day or week or life anymore. If we become the observer we are free to choose how we want to act or even feel about different situations and that is true freedom and the step out of a victim mentality.
There will always be challenging situations in life that we have to face as it is a world of dualities and being human means to feel emotions that are not pleasant. However, it is possible to bring more joy and ease into our lives. The more conscious we are the easier it gets. Awareness over ourselves is the key to a happier life as it gives us the power to create what we want, as mentioned. Tapping into our own pure conscious state of being, through meditation for example, helps us to experience this state of bliss from within. This is where we find a true sense of safety, joy and calmness. It is so important to spend time alone without any distractions to be able to find stillness because only out of this stillness we are able to sense what's inside. Now, if you have the feeling that you are constantly searching for happiness there is only one way to find it and that is to stop looking for it. As long as we look for it, search everywhere, through every distraction, substitute and amusement, we will not find it. Stop looking and it will come to you as joy and bliss has always been inside - it is our essence. We only have to become still and stop the noise in our heads to be able to notice that.
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